Simplicity vs. Safety

So one of the key principles I try to live my life by is that of “simplicity”. Gandhi said that we should live simply so that others may simply live. Thus, I need to be using my resources with the mindset that I’m called to be a good steward of them, and that ultimately all humanity is in this thing called life together -- so I need to be looking to meet the needs of others and not just my own wants. While there are obviously dozens of ways in which I DON’T do this, I’m learning to reprogram my mind as much as possible to see things from a global, even eternal perspective… and one of the most tangible ways this plays out is in how I spend my money. Again, I admit from the get-go that I suck at this in a lot of ways. But, in general, I’ve learned that if I cut down on a lot of my needless expenses, it frees up a lot of money to do better things with. So, I’m not gonna buy the $20 bottle of shampoo when the $3 one works just fine, and I’m not going to spend $80 on a pair of earrings, when I can find some half-way cute ones for $5 (especially since I’m prone to frequently losing jewelry anyway.) However, my stick-to-the-minumum-expense-neccesary philosophy recently hit a snag…

On Friday I went to the Passport Health office for my appointment to get the needed vaccinations for our Sudan trip. I knew that in addition to taking malaria pills, that I was going to need to at least get a yellow fever vaccine, and probably a few more shots too. So I go in and meet the doctor, and she goes through her talk about being a safe traveler, and about the risks for Sudan in particular. Then she goes through all the vaccinations that are suggested for the trip, and then gives the prices for them all. Granted, I’d budgeted SOME money for this, but I was a little taken back by the final price tag. Total cost if I want to be super safe and get ALL the recommended shots: $1,037. Yea right. I could buy a plane ticket to fly to another country for medical attention for that amount. So, I ration in my head that I’m obviously not getting ALL the recommended shots (which, from what I’ve heard, few people actually do.) Legally I just have to spend the $125 for the yellow fever shot and they’ll let me into Sudan, but I know it’s probably a good idea to get a least a couple of the other recommended ones. Which left me sitting in the doctor’s office, contemplating how likely it is that I would actually catch get any of this stuff, and just how much money is a good idea to spend. Would I rather spend $85, or risk getting typhoid fever? $135, or meningitis? $87, or measles? (Apparently, even though I already had that vaccine as a kid, “they” now recommend that anyone born after 1956 get two does of MMR, not one. Of course.) The simple-spender in me was saying “Just get the yellow fever and you’ll be fine.” The don’t-be-stupid-voice in me was saying “Better to be overly safe than sorry when dealing with foreign diseases.” Of course, part of being a 20-something living underneath a fear-mongering government is that I can be pretty distrustful of a lot of major institutions, especially any one where drug companies are making a profit by convincing me that I really need such-and-such medications, whether it’s true or not.

Contemplating all of this in my head while the doctor got the needles ready, I finally decide that for the day, I was just going to get the shots for yellow fever and for Hepatitis A&B. Those seem to be the most urgent, and I figure that even though the Hep A&B are by far the most expensive of the vaccines, I’m going to need to get those if I ever travel overseas again anyways, so mind as well get it out of the way. I had to make another appointment to get my second round of Hep shots before we leave for Africa, and I assure the doctor that I’ll probably get more of the other vaccines on my next visit. I haven’t actually decided if I am or not, but at least I’ve got a couple of weeks to do some more reading and see which ones I’m actually in need of.

It actually brings to mind a lot of thoughts about the whole struggle between living-in-fear vs. being-needlessly-reckless. But, that’s a whole other post, and I’ve got to get ready for work tonight. Maybe I’ll write more on that later…

The Question

Well, it's about that time of year again. The time when my current "gameplan for life" runs out, and I have to start discerning what my next steps should be. It's a time that I've grown to see as both exciting and nerve racking... since this is now the 6th time in five years that I've gotten to undergo this little transition from one plan to another.

Looking back on the past years, I honestly have to say that I'm pretty amazed with how lucky I've been to live out so many incredible experiences. When I first started staring out at the sea of the unknown "real-world" during my senior year of college, I could NEVER have guessed what the future held. In order of address changes, I've lived in Atlanta, Lorena, Tyler, New Orleans, and now Austin - with a total of eleven different roommates (excluding my family). I've tutored students and coached basketball at an inner-city high school in Atlanta. I've organized disaster relief efforts in the Ninth Ward of New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina. There have been intensely challenging and sobering moments -- like sorting homicide crime scene photos during my stint as a defense investigator for death penalty cases... and there have been absurdly ridiculous moments -- like when I drove a tractor while wearing a gorilla costume during my stint as a guest relations director at a camp in the middle of East Texas pine forest.

There have been nights of dancing to hip-hop, country, blues, jazz, and funk. I've hiked to the top of mesas in New Mexico and to the top of Stone Mountain in Georgia. I've cried many tears from seeing so much oppression, sorrow, violence, and despair. I've laughed for hours with the best friends a girl could ask for. I've ridden a tap-tap in Haiti, played games with kids in Mexico, skied the mountaintops of Colorado, and sang Cajun music on the swamps of the Gulf Coast bayou. All of this has come as I've simply pursued life to the fullest... never really mapping out what lay ahead, but trying to let God direct my path... and trying to learn more about the world and what my part is to play in it.

Certainly I have made mistakes along the way -- whether by intentional sin or merely naive mishaps. But I've learned from the mistakes as well as the victories - and, all in all, I wouldn't trade any part of the journey thus far. And when I look back and see how faithful God has been in taking care of me and teaching me and granting me the desires of my heart.. then I have a lot of peace in trusting His provision for the future. And yet... as always, there is an anxiousness that has begun to slowly arise lately as I feel the end of this course coming quickly, with no idea where I'm to turn next. I'll keep working at Halcyon for the next month and a half, and then I'll be going on our trip to Sudan for the first half of August. But after that?... No plan.

Well, there are some things that I do know. I'll still be living in Austin, and my roommate Linda and I have already decided that we're going to keep the apartment we have now for another year. (This will make the first time since 2004 that I've lived in one residence for more than 11 months!) But I guess the big thing is that I don't know what I'll be doing for a job, which means I don't know where my income will come from once I get back from Africa. I have faith that something will come up and work out - seeing as how it always has thus far. My bank account may have been empty during some of these transitions, but the right job has always started exactly when I needed it to, and I've never been hungry or unable to pay rent. (Well, in all honestly, at the worst of my financial instability, I had to ask my fam for $100 - but as much as I hated asking for that, it thankfully was still a relatively small amount.)

But in thinking about a job.. the seemingly ever-present question surfaces again of "What do I want to do?" I feel like at the age of 25, almost 26, I should have a decent answer to that question. But I really don't, and I'm probably less sure about an answer that I've ever been. Somehow, every year that I've experienced something new and seen more of life, I've become less certain of what career I'd like to pursue, at the time in life when it seems like I should be narrowing down my "field of interest". It's not that there is a lack of things that I'm passionate about. It's that there are SO many different lines of work that I think would be incredible, and feeling like I need to choose one to settle into seems so limiting. Of course, I've talked with many people about this and I know that I'm not actually in a position of having to choose what one specific thing I'm going to do for the next 40 years of my life. People change careers. They pursue one thing and end up doing something completely different. But the reality also is that if I'm hoping to do grad school next year, then I at least have to be able to pick which program I'm going to apply to. And as far work goes, any cover letter I submit is going to require me to say why such-and-such job fits into my long-term career goals. Thus, actually having some "long-term career goals" seems kinda necessary.

For years now I've been saying that I'll probably end up in education.. or social work... or full-time ministry. Any of those could still happen. As I think about the issues around the world that interest me though, fields like public policy and non-profit management are attractive too. Or I'll read BBC reports from journalists working in refugee camps or humanitarian aid outposts and I contemplate giving this whole full-time writing thing a real chance. And in the midst of all this dreaming about things I'd love to spend my lifetime doing... the deadline of August is flashing like a neon sign in my mind -- reminding me that somehow I'm gonna need to figure out something concrete before then, so that I can find a job and hopefully get a paycheck again by September. Perhaps I end up just taking some job that I'm not crazy about for this coming year while I decide some of this "long-term" stuff (though truth be told, I'd much rather keep serving coffee for another year than take a boring deskjob.) Plus my carpe-diem-suck-the-marrow-out-of-life philosophy makes me cringe at the idea of spending 40-plus hours a week doing something I don't think is worthwhile.

Who knows. I'm pretty assured that God will open doors when they need to open. And I actually believe that when all is said and done, that it's much more important WHO I'm becoming in all of this more so than WHAT work I'm doing. But nonetheless, employment is a key part of life, and so it's yet again a subject of much contemplation. I'm curious to see 3 months from now how this is all playing out...

Preparations

Last night our Sudan team had another great evening of getting together to prepare for our trip. It's exciting to see so many things coming together! We turned in our passport photos for our official documents for access into Sudan, along with the money we've raised so far from our generous sponsors. We got our official pack lists of what we'll need to be planning to take with us. Things to remember: Take little to no denim (takes too long to air dry and weighs too much in your backpack.) Weather will be like Colorado: warm in the day, cool at night.. so gonna need some long sleeves and cargo pants to go with the shorts and tees. There won't be any electricity, so forget charging my cell phone or digital camera once we get into "the bush." Talking about all the details is making it all feel much more real. Glad I still have two months to get everything ready to go!

It was really encouraging to be able to pray for each other and for our fellow team members who weren't able to make the meeting. Even though I only know a few of the other folks going (and even them I've only known for a few months now), everyone seems like such kindred spirits - and already we're starting to feel a lot of unity among all the team.

After our discussion and prayer time, we all watched the film "God Grew Tired of Us". I'd definitely recommend it for anyone who is interested in learning more about the Lost Boys of Sudan (watch the trailer here. ) I think one of the things that is going to be challenging about this trip is wrapping my mind around the reality of what the Sudanese have faced during the civil wars. I've read tons of BBC reports and intellectually know the history... but it's one thing to read texts about horrors and tragedies. It's a completely other thing to experience it. I know already my heart is going to totally break while I'm there, but I'm hoping that the empathy won't just paralyze me with sadness or cynicism. I'm hopeful that as we all struggle to grasp the magnitude of the challenges facing the Didinga, that we'll be able to take part in doing as much as we can to join with the Sudanese in taking steps towards peace and restoration.

Itinerary

We've known that our trip was going to take place the first two weeks of August, but we were unsure of exact dates because we had to wait and see which days would be the least expensive for our flights. And we WERE going to have to wait to book our flights until we had enough fundraising done to purchase everyone's tickets -- but thankfully Austin Stone Community Church has offered to finance our trip for us -- thus allowing us to go ahead and buy plane tickets and then pay back the church as our support money comes in. SO... two days ago, flights were booked and we got our official itineraries! Note that there has been a slight change in plans from what I original said: instead of staying in Nairobi for two nights for our post-Sudan debrief, we'll just be there one night on the way back, followed by a night in London for our debrief. I'm a little bummed we'll have less time in Nairobi, but excited to hopefully see at least a small bit of London! Below are travel plans from Austin to Nairobi. From there we'll be taking a smaller, charter flight from Kenya into Sudan.

DEPARTURE:
- Leave Austin, Friday August 1, 11:32am... arrive at Washington/Dulles 3:48pm
- Leave DC 6:26pm... arrive at London/Heathrow Sat. Aug. 2nd, 6:55am
- Leave London 10:20am... arrive in Nairobi 8:50pm

RETURN:
- Leave Nairobi, Sunday August 17th, 11:35am... arrive at London/Heathrow 6:30pm
- Leave London, Monday August 18th, 10:50am... arrive at Washington/Dulles 2:18pm
- Leave DC 6:55pm... arrive in Austin 9:14pm

Add it up folks, and that's gonna be just 3 minutes shy of 40 hours of flying! Plus our charter flight to and from Sudan. Looks like I'm gonna need at least a couple good books to pass the time.

Sudan video

This video was partially filmed in Didinga territory, and it features William and Eunice Laku - the couple we'll be going to work with in Southern Sudan.

WATCH

Sudan Overview

Although I plan on writing about a variety of things on this blog, the main reason that I've started it is to let y'all know about my trip to Sudan that I'll be going on in August. So, first up, here's an overview about what we'll be up to:

SETTING THE STAGE

- Sudan has officially been an independent nation since 1956, when the people declared themselves free from the British-Egyptian rule that had governed for most of the prior century. Immediately however, the country was thrust into a civil war as rivaling factions disputed over the many strong cultural differences between the northern and southern regions of Sudan. A brief peace was brokered from 1972 to 1983, only for the Second Sudanese Civil War to again ravish the country. In January 2005, a comprehensive peace agreement was reached between the north and south, which essentially granted Southern Sudan autonomy for six years, to be followed by a referendum on independence to be held in 2011. While the horrific conflict in Darfur continues to persist in western Sudan, the South is striving to reestablish some semblance of stable life. Over 250,000 refugees have returned from camps in Uganda, Ethiopia, & Kenya. Though eager to begin recovery, most people have incredibly limited resources with which to rebuild their lives. This is the scene we will be entering into.

THE HOPE:
- The leaders for our trip, Jonathan & Lauren Ramirez, have already spent time in Sudan, having worked with a couple named William & Eunice Laku among the Didinga tribe of southeastern Sudan. William & Eunice became Christians while in refugee camps (some of the first among the Didinga people), and have returned now to their homeland to be ambassadors of a Christian faith and of peace. One of the visions this couple has for their land is a dream to start a multi-tribal boarding school, called "City on a Hill", which would strive to bring the youth of surrounding tribes to learn together in a unified environment. The hope is that if these children of war can be educated together, hear the Gospel, and build healthy relationships with each other, then these future leaders can guide their country into a time of peace and life that hasn't been seen in generations. The Lakus have invited the Ramirezes to join them in this endeavor, not building a school FOR them, but rather developing a school WITH them. And so our team is going to learn more about the culture and to support this great vision, considering as we go the ways that each of us can be a part of this long-term effort, and how our community back here in the States can be a part of what the Lord is already doing among the Sudanese people.

LOGISTICS:
- Our trip will take place the first two weeks of August, and will include a team of 15 people. We will arrive first in Nairobi, Kenya for a night, then fly to Lokichogio -- then fly again into Sudan to our destination of Nagishot. We'll spend 10 days among the Didinga tribe, joining William and Eunice in their ministry and learning as much as we can about the culture, the current circumstances in the region, and the development for the boarding school. After leaving we'll spend two nights in Nairobi for a time of debriefing, then depart on our flight back to Austin. I hope to do some extensive writing both before and after the trip, and will most likely post those pieces on a blog that would be available online for you all to read.

WAYS YOU CAN BE INVOLVED:
- Be in the know. I'll be sending out more details and updates from our team as we get ready for the trip, as well as follow-up reports once we get home. These will include specific prayer requests and opportunities for you to further support the City on a Hill school as plans continue to develop. If you'd like to receive these email updates, then send me a reply at ERLing82@gmail.com, and I'll get those to you. If you'd prefer to receive a follow-up letter once we return in August, then send back your physical postal address, and I'll mail you a trip summary and photos once we return home. From all my previous travels, I have definitely come to believe in the blessing that comes from having a support team of people praying for the task at hand, so know that I truly appreciate those of you can commit to praying for our team and the Didinga tribe!

- Provide a financial gift. The approximate total cost per each team member will be $2,700. For my share of those expenses, I'll be covering one-third through my own savings. I'll be doing fundraising this summer to provide for the remaining cost, approximately $1800. If you'd like to contribute to that goal, you can make checks payable to Austin Stone Community Church. The church is a 501c-3 non-profit organization, and thus all gifts will be tax deductible. If you are interested in helping out in this way, let me know, and I'll give you details on where to send your gift. Providing tangibly for our expenses will enable us to provide tangibly for the Didinga people – so thank you for participating in the task with us!

Many thanks to all of you for your interest in supporting this exciting endeavor – and for your care and support to me personally, to our team, and to the people in Sudan who we will be working with. Blessings and love to each of you!

Sincerely,
emily